Take a look at these Conflict Starters. You will need this list to answer question C:  Youre late again. Youre always late. Your lateness is so inconsiderate!    I just cant bear another weekend of sitting home watching cartoons with the kids.  Well, there goes another anniversary that you forgot.  You think I am fat, dont you?  You never want to do what I want. We always have to do what you want.5)  Write a 2-page (double spaced) paper, in which you answer the following questions:a.  What was the number of letters you circled in each column in the TKI? After reading the interpreting your scores information, do you agree with the style(s) the assessment says you use the most? Why or why not?b.  Do you think your scores adequately represent how you manage conflict in a romantic relationship, friend/family relationship, and at work? Why or why not? Which did it more fully represent?c.  Choose one of the Conflict Starters from above. Why is this considered a conflict starter? How could it be re-worded to be a healthy conversation instead of the likelihood of it turning into an aggressive conflict?d.  After watching segments of the Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus: Gender Differences in Relationships movie, choose two examples of disconfirming messages that were used in the film. (Be specific, what did they say that was disconfirming?) Why were they disconfirming? How could they have been said differently? How did they make the other person in the conversation feel? What was the result of this disconfirming message?e.  Last question…How will you change/improve your conflict resolution from the material in this lesson? 

THOMAS-KILMANNCONFLICTMODEQUESTIONNAIREConsidersituationsinwhichyoufindyourwishesdifferingfromthoseofanotherperson.Howdoyouusuallyrespondtosuchsituations?Onthefollowingpagesareseveralpairsofstatementsdescribingpossiblebehavioralresponses.Foreachpair,pleasecirclethe”A”or”B”statementwhichismostcharacteristicofyourownbehavior.Inmanycases,neitherthe”A”northe”B”statementmaybeverytypicalofyourbehavior,butpleaseselecttheresponsewhichyouwouldbemorelikelytouse.Whendoneanswering,transferyouranswerstothescoringsheetonthelastpage,andsumeachofthecolumns.1.A.TherearetimeswhenIletotherstakeresponsibilityforsolvingtheproblem.B.Ratherthannegotiatethethingsonwhichwedisagree,Itrytostressthosethingsuponwhichwebothagree.2.A.Itrytofindacompromisesolution.B.Iattempttodealwithallofanother’sandmyconcerns.3.A.Iamusuallyfirminpursuingmygoals.B.Imighttrytosoothetheother’sfeelingsandpreserveourrelationship.4.A.Itrytofindacompromisesolution.B.Isometimessacrificemyownwishesforthewishesoftheotherperson.5.A.Iconsistentlyseektheother’shelpinworkingoutasolution.B.Itrytodowhatisnecessarytoavoiduselesstensions.6.A.Itrytoavoidcreatingunpleasantnessformyself.B.Itrytowinmyposition.
7.A.ItrytopostponetheissueuntilIhavehadsometimetothinkaboutit.B.Igiveupsomepointsinexchangeforothers.8.A.Iamusuallyfirminpursuingmygoals.B.Iattempttogetallconcernsandissuesimmediatelyoutintheopen.9.A.Ifeelthatdifferencesarenotalwaysworryingabout.B.Imakesomeefforttogetmyway.10.A.Iamfirminpursuingmygoals.B.Itrytofindacompromisesolution.11.A.Iattempttogetallconcernsandissuesimmediatelyoutintheopen.B.Imighttrytosoothetheother’sfeelingsandpreserveourrelationship.12.A.Isometimesavoidtakingpositionswhichwouldcreatecontroversy.B.Iwillletanotherhavesomeoftheirpositionsiftheyletsmehavesomeofmine.13.A.Iproposemiddleground.B.Ipresstogetmypointsmade.14.A.Itellanothermyideasandaskthemfortheirs.B.Itrytoshowhimthelogicandbenefitsofmyposition